9.20

I just lay here in the candlelight thinking about everything that isn’t mine. The TV screen is still lit blue. I wonder what he ate today? Or if he made it to the gym at 7am like I overheard him saying he would try to do? Most of my love and admiration is coming from overhearing his interactions with other people. I love watching him. His broad shoulders and dark skin. I wonder how much more of this torture I could take. Wanting him as my lover. Standing side by side with him every day and like two opposite solar systems. Inappropriate atmosphere for love to survive. My flowers can’t breathe in his air.

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