11.22 HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDEN BOY

It’s hard to see things for “what they really are” when how the hell do we really know what anything is? It’s all about perspective. We have to realize our blessings. Everything works together for good for THOSE WHO LOVE GOD. And God is LOVE. So those who love love, all good things will come to them. I am beyond blessed. With everything that is going on with my health, I really was shown so much love and care from places I never expected. I am so grateful to the forces of this universe that even in times of great darkness, light shines through. We have to open our eyes to love and see it is around every corner, fueling every encounter, IF THAT IS WHAT WE CHOOSE to see. I am beyond blessed in every aspect of my life. Sometimes, I become so overwhelmed that I just feel like I am drowning in the weight of it all. It feels like trying to swim in a vat of melted iron. But through these trials we are created. You have to be a gladiator. You must stand and fight. It would be so easy to give up.
I was leaving the hospital today and my friend and her little babygirl who is only about barely 3 was with us. The elevator we were on opened up and there was an old woman who was obviously dying laying on a gurney with a nurse pushing her. The old woman was looking at the little girl and the little girl at the old woman. My friend said, “that’s interesting, the beginning of life and the end.” And I thought about myself, almost in the middle. And I said, “and what’s the point of it all? There are never any answers, only more questions.”
I’ve been thinking about what I said since then. But then I thought, what if I just stop seeking answers? What if I just enjoy this ride and be so thankful for the experience. The good and the bad? Because I would rather have loved and lived than to have never at all. I am surrounded by love. That’s the whole point of seeking it and it shall find you. Because when you seek love you really just become aware of all the ways your life is already filled with it.

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