A letter to my lover.

It’s so hard to let people know who I am. Why do I believe that I have magical powers? Why do I believe I was chosen? I was born from love. So many people are born from fear. Love vs. Fear. Light vs. Dark. God vs…? U feel me? Love is two young lovers laying in the grass finally finding the love they’ve been longing for because they’ve only known fear and abuse their whole lives; having a baby. A beautiful baby girl. Of course she is the most gorgeous thing that walked the face of the earth. She will spend many of her years fearing she is a siren. But she is an Angel. And because of this, she must be the guardian. She must be Medusa. She must be able to protect the family. She is fierce. Her lover is a Spartan. He could end anyone’s life in an instant. And he has the snake by the head. He is loyal and just. He has a heart of gold that he only shows his love. The rest of the world sees his shield because he is forever protecting. She wants him to feel the freedom of love, to come and go as he please because when he is free to chose he always chooses her. Never pressure or obligation. The freedom of choice. To Chose every day to love someone. Even if some of your other choices make you feel like you were going to pick someone else, but at the end of the day, when you laid your head to sleep at night, you chose them. The freedom to be human and make mistakes and learn. To learn to teach another person your boundary and why those lines are put there in the first place and to cross those lines would be grave betrayal. The intimacy of nakedness with the lights on. Medusa loved him like that. Because she was made from love.

I hate using my powers for manipulation. You don’t see right now, who I am. What I am capable of. The Evil One tried to use my power for his own gain. Every day you choose to do good. That’s why I love you so much. Your heart is just so beautiful to me. I know your love language isn’t gifts. But that’s the best I could do right now. I can’t wait to be there and touch you. I am sorry that I wasn’t. I have been allowing fear to control me. I am giving my heart to love. And following love. Because I am a child of love. My parents were making love when they were making me. The reason the second time was so much better than the first was because you were making love to me. That’s why I wanted it to be you in the first place was because when we were in the back of my car, the way you touched my body, I knew you loved looking at me and feeling me, you treated me like a piece of art that was on display. Gentle, respectful, caring. You listened to how I needed you, and you complied. Every moment with you is like a beautiful love song. Your voice gives me a tranquility that could only compare to Jesus whispering into the ear of Peter right before he walked into a miracle. Your body is like my miracle. I miss you so desperately. I want to melt into you like coconut oil on your Carmel skin in the Texas sun. I cannot wait until we are touching. Your strong hands in my hair, turning me forcing your kiss to my playful resistance. Your lips sucking and biting the places I was so insecure about before I met you. I find hickies in the strangest places. It’s like a gift of desire for something I despised before and now all of a sudden it’s my saving grace. I love being with you and being without you has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I had to prove what I would sacrifice for love. I had to show love that I would move when told to move, and bend when told to bend, knowing that love would never break me. Only train me, and teach me, because it loves me. I am learning so many lessons with you. Patience, kindness, not envying, not boasting, being slow to anger. I only pray for the willpower to continue to walk in these lessons. I always want to choose love. I pray that love has chosen you for me. You are what I want.

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