Sometimes I feel like a complete and utter fool. I try to blame all of the horrible decisions that I make on so many things. I can only blame myself. I don’t know which crossroad to take. I don’t know why my moves always feel so contingent on those around me. I want to think only for myself. Only about myself. Why am I so afraid of being selfish? Because a religion that I don’t even believe in raised me to be that way?
No, I feel it in my bones to be selfless. It has always resonated with me. So many things resonate with my spirit. I wonder if anyone else is like that? Does anyone else see demons in people’s faces before they see the actual face? They talk about auras, I feel shifts of energy but I never see light around people unless it’s white light which is what I saw every time I saw a boy that was about to complete wreck my life. And it always seemed to end in red and blue lights smh.
I always get the worst of men because I always think the worst of them.
I get the worst of every situation because I always think the worst of it.
I need to shift my own energy.
How? Light candles. Dance. Call someone you love and who loves you so much you can feel it with every word they say.
This will give you strength. This will build you up. When you feel like the sky is falling, LOOK UP ANYWAYS.